Lonely Hearts Dating Advice – Dating Help

Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

For those needing relationship help try, The Magic of Making Up

So you’ve been on your own for a couple of weeks now and you wake up one morning with this burning thought in your mind “I want my ex back!”  Which is a pretty normal reaction if you find that you’re still in love with your ex.  What is also natural is that you will find you have no real idea how to go about getting them back.  So you end up looking around for help in order that you don’t make a complete mess in your attempt to win them back.

Well first of all, before you go off trying to get your ex back, make sure that you’re not going through the natural grieving process that comes at the end of a relationship.  At the end of most  relationships there is a period when the hurt and missing is so intense that it is akin to the grieving process.  During this process it is very natural to have the feeling “I want my ex back!”and for that feeling to be all consuming.

This is because you are grieving for all the dreams and hopes you had that were wrapped up in your ex love and your ex relationship.  So make real sure that you’re not going through this process before you attempt to get them back.

Assuming that it is more than natural grieving, you are now ready to make good on your thought that “I want my ex back!” your next move should always be to figure out what went wrong.  

This is important, because unless you take the time to go over the mistakes that you might have made, then getting back with your ex will only eventually lead to the same break down in the relationship as before and that will do neither of you any good.  So own your mistakes and anything that you might have done wrong to contribute to the break down of the relationship.

A vital tip to remember is not to focus on what you believe your ex might have done wrong.  Let them take care of their stuff for now and you take care of your own.  There is time in the future for the two of you to dig around in the collective causes, but for now, you must work on your own issues and mistakes.   

If you’re sincerely clear that “I want my ex back!” then all that has been outlined is really the start that you need to take to get back with your ex and to secure a future for the two of you that will not fall into the same mistakes and pitfalls of before.

For those needing relationship help try, The Magic of Making Up

With Relationship Rescue, Philip McGraw has done a great amount of work to try and help people put their lives back together after things have fallen apart. This is no different from anything else that he has done on television with his show that brings in people who are in the middle of family crisis. If there are problems that people are having, he will help them find a way to sole it themselves.

While it might be better to have Dr. Phil right there with you to help you figure things out, his book, Relationship rescue, provides the next best thing. While it is always recommended to go seek counseling, it may not always be feasible. What makes many efforts to save relationships fail is that there is no action taken. Dr. Phil insists that if your relationship is to be saved, then both parties must work to save it. Any marriage counseling or relationship advice that anyone will give you will let you know that work is involved.

Phil McGraw’s book gives people instructions that are very helpful but can be difficult because he challenges both parties in the love relationship to look inwardly and own up to their problems and work to fix them. He tells them that they need to work as hard to fix themselves as they expect their partner or spouse to work on theirs. Relationship Rescue says that even if you think that your significant other is the root of all the problems you must scrutinize yourself.

In Relationship Rescue, Dr. Phil asks readers to perform an self analysis regarding their feelings about the relationship. There are lists of questions that are categorized by topics like, "Relationship Health Profile," "Personal Concepts Profile," "The Relationship Behavior Profile: Your Partner," "The Relationship Behavior Profile: You." Just looking at those headings you know that it is going to require some serious work and thinking that will be well worth it once you see an improvement in not only your perceptions of the relationship, but in the relationship itself.

Dr. Phil’s Relationship Rescue also encourages people to change their perspective of the relationship form a negative one to a positive one. Most people make things out to be worse than they are. Changing one’s viewpoint of the other in the love relationship may help them see that the problems may be as bad as first thought.

Dr. Phil, as always, gives common sense relationship advice that requires some hard thinking and some hard work. There are millions of people who have taken his advice that he gives in this book and seen dramatic improvements in their lives. If you don’t have the patience or the time to read his Relationship Rescue book, there is an abridged audiobook available that makes the information easy to understand but also helps in that you get to listen to his sound advice in his own voice.

For those needing relationship help try, The Magic of Making Up

How to Win Love Back and Have Your Ex Fall in Love with You All Over Again

As with any advice you need to use what works in your situation.

What can you do to win love back?  Getting your ex to fall in love with you all over again can be a challenge.  The truth is that there are reasons that he or she called it off.  If you can figure out what the reasons are, you have a good chance to win love back.

If you need to win love back because the other person couldn’t trust you anymore, you will have to proceed slowly.  If you messed up and fooled around with someone else, you have to prove that you can be loyal again. 

First, you must be certain that you want your ex back.  What is going to keep you from straying again?  Could it be that the reason you fooled around is because you weren’t 100 percent sure you wanted your ex?  If this is the case, are you now sure that you want the relationship to go forward? 

If you are sure, then you need to apologize.  Don’t think that this will get you very far when it comes to win love back, but it is a necessary first step.

Then, you must give your ex time to heal.  Don’t push him or her to resolve the situation.  During this time, you don’t want to play any head games that might give your ex the feeling that you can’t be trusted.  You probably shouldn’t date other people during this time.  You should be humble. 

Be a great friend to her.  Do the things that made her fall in love with you in the first place.  If she still has feelings for you, being a good friend can help her pave over the infidelity.

But there are reasons besides cheating that a person dumps their lover.  For instance, they may be bored with the relationship.  In this case, if you want to win love back, you have to spice things up.

When your ex was first attracted to you, you were probably not complacent in the dating game.  You planned each date carefully, dressed up for the events, and brought little gifts to him or her from time to time.  As the relationship developed, you may have gotten sloppy about it. 

If you think the reason you are now in the position where you need to win love back is that you let the relationship get boring, try spicing things up.   If you meet up again “just as friends” do something different and exciting.  Meet at a wine bar instead of a pool hall.  Go out for fondue or other “interesting” food.  Go to a concert with music that she likes.  Don’t just sit around the house watching football or American Idol all of the time.

If your ex is bored with you, win love back by becoming more interesting in your personal life as well.  Take a course or join up with an interesting group.  Start skydiving.  Show your ex that you can be a lot of fun.

The final reason that I’m going to discuss here about why a break up happens is that you were just “too into” your ex.  He or she didn’t have any room to breathe.  They may still like you.  Heck, they may still love you, but they didn’t find any room for themselves in the relationship.

If this is the case, you have to give your ex some space.  The worst thing you can do is send them 100 text messages a day or call crying at 3:00 a.m. asking why the break up happened.  You win love back by backing off.  When you see your ex, be casual.  Don’t be needy.

There are, of course, many other reasons why your ex could have broken up with you.  When you analyze why the break up happened, you can use the space thereafter to win love back by making the necessary changes.

You won’t win love back by continuing in your old habits.  But you should know that getting back together is possible.  You can win love back.
The Magic of Making Up will get you going in the right direction.

For those needing relationship help try, The Magic of Making Up

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”  When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me.  I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan.  In Junior High, that’s about four days.  As we get older, the lifespan increases.  But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry.  Most of us will only have one great love in our lives.  The other relationships will terminate.  That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship.  Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment.  As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places.  I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level.  I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly.  I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand.  Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me.  I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment.  I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in.  I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.  

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex.  But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate.  Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time.  I loved her.  I still love her.  But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong.  I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things.  Sure, I understood that I had hurt her.  But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were.  But, every relationship has to grow or die.  Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die.  In every relationship, there is a time to die.  And, for me, this was it.  That’s how I lost love.

For those needing relationship help try, The Magic of Making Up

Sometimes the best way to say something is the way someone more literary than you has said it.  In that vein, here are some relationship quotes of note:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
-Oprah Winfrey

"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins

"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn

"The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time." – Caroline Myss

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." – Mark Twain

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with" ~ Gillian Anderson

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." – Aristotle

"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." – Helen Keller

"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl – no superior alternative has yet been found." – Winston Churchill

"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations." – Kahlin Gibran

"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person." – Eric Fromm

"Man is a knot into which relationships are tied." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete." ~ Keith Sweat

"Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others." ~ Stephen R. Covey

"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made – like bread, remade all the time, made new." – Ursula LeGuin

"Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's really no fun lying to 'em anymore." -Norm from Cheers

There’s a broad collection of relationship quotes for you.