Posts Tagged ‘Perspective’
If you are wanting to keep a marriage or relationship afloat and aren’t willing to give up on it then you may need some relationship rescue. There are many books about it and lots of advice given from friends and counselors. There are marriage therapists to go to for counseling but most everyone will end up saying the same things and will not give you sound advice to take action on.
The best things that you can do in any relationship rescue is to aim at being honest and accept one another. Doing both of these may be difficult if you aren’t willing to accept the fact that much of the blame in the difficulties of the relationship is shared. Own up to your own flaws and accept that there may be some truth to the complaints that your significant other has of you. If you want the other party in your relationship to change things you must realize there are probably things that you need to change as well. If you want them to keep an open mind about things that you wish for them to work on then you must do the same.
True love will require compromise many times. You must be able to bend your will and give up some things to make the relationship work. If there is going to be a relationship rescue taking place. Both parties need to take a hard look at themselves and see what things they need to give up and work on to be more compatible.
The largest part of any relationship rescue is to change your perspective. For many people perception is a reality, but it may be a false reality. Something may seem like the worst situation in the world but then, after a change in perspective, it may not seem all that bad at all. People have a way of blowing things out of proportion. In relationships this is especially true. Quite a bit of marriage counseling deals with this bit of relationship management. Look closely at the situations from different angles. Your spouse/partner may seem like they work too much but could it be worse? Yes, they could be hopelessly unemployed and struggling to find work or, worse yet, a bum. Also ask why certain things are being done instead of jumping to conclusions.
Talk through things and when things are settled, drop them and move on. Much of the problems that relationships face is due to the fact that there is someone in the relationship, or maybe both in the relationship, who hold on to grudges. Don’t let that happen. If there were things that happened in the past that have been dealt with, then let them go. When you do have discussions or arguments don’t bring up the past. Deal with the present. Don’t don’t fight battles more than once.
If you are truly willing to see your relationships rescued, these ideas will help you and the one you love breath new life into your relationship.
If you’ve been dumped and you’re looking for ways to get ex back then I have to say that kicking and screaming, begging and pleading is not the best of ways to get ex back. Instead you need to make sure you closely follow what I’m about to lay out for you.
Always one of the ways to get ex back involves appearing to be in control of yourself and not acting like a desperate and needy out of control victim. So, if you’ve been accused of being needy, then now is your chance to show them that you’re far from that.
It might be too late, but if it isn’t and your ex is simply talking about leaving, then as soon as they mention that they’re leaving, make sure you agree the breakup. Sounds like the opposite to what you want, but if you let them go and you do it calmly and without drama, then your path to getting them back is going to be a lot smoother.
Once they’re gone, you’re going to have to do what the experts call ‘No Contact!’ That means just what it says. The best ways to get ex back is always to make sure you’re not bombarding them with text messages and calls. If your ex has heard nothing from you since they walked out, then it doesn’t make them forget you, it makes them miss and wonder what you’re up to.
Getting on with your life after they have gone is a crucial method to use when you’re trying to figure ways to get ex back. Not only is this a good way to keep yourself busy, but it is also a great way to put things into perspective. Nothing will help you with your judgment and confidence more than being in a social situation and having some fun with others, so get on with your life.
After you have given yourself some time to think and adjust, guess what, your ex has had the same amount of time to calm down and reassess their decision too. You should have been out of contact with your ex for at least a month before you decide the time is right to make contact with them.
Phone them up and have a very short and casual conversation with them. Ask for a meeting somewhere neutral, but don’t make it sound like a big heavy deal. Remember you are trying to find ways to get ex back, so no emotional manipulation.
At the meeting explain you’ve had time to think and you would like to apologize for any mistakes you’ve made. Tell your ex your feelings for them haven’t changed and you would like another chance. Always give your ex space to say what they think and how they feel, and listen carefully and sincerely to what they have to say.
Once you’ve said your piece, tell your ex that you’re going to give them time to think things through and then leave.
“I feel like dying because my boyfriend dumped me!” It isn’t the end of the world and it isn’t even close. Even though it hurts, it isn’t going to kill you. This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you think, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that “my boyfriend dumped me” doesn’t mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.
Getting past the idea that “my boyfriend dumped me” isn’t going to be easy but it also isn’t going to be impossible. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery. If that is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it. If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesn’t mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so don’t worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.
It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that “my boyfriend dumped me.” Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it. If you are constantly complaining about your life and the situation but aren’t following up on what advice is given, they are going to reach a point that you don’t want. They are going to get tired of you and cut you off or seriously consider it.
You should also re-frame the way you look at the situation. Try looking at it from a different angle or perspective. While you may see it as the end of the world, from another person’s perspective, it may not be. Try to find that other person’s perspective. Try to see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for them to come along.
While you are waiting, find some way to improve yourself. Find something that you have long dreamed about doing and throw your life into it. If there is something non-romantic that you have longed to achieve in life, pursue it. Do you want to make yourself better in anyway, now is the time to do it. Try to find someway to use this time and that negative energy you have and do something positive with it.
The end result will be a happier you. Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because “my boyfriend dumped me” and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.


