Lonely Hearts Dating Advice – Dating Help

Posts Tagged ‘Marriage Help’

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“Help save marriage from falling apart!” comes the cry from many who see their marriage sinking quickly. You have been watching the ship you are on sinking but haven’t figured out what to do to stop it. If you aren’t ready to see your marriage sink into the abyss, you need help save marriage advice. You need an S.O.S. You need to learn to sacrifice for your marriage, you have to learn to open up and communicate, and you have to learn to simplify your lives so things aren’t so complicated.

Sacrifice:
Many times those who are wanting help save marriage are really more interested in trying to get the other person to fix their problems. If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. It may very well be that the other person is causing all the problems but you need to make sure that you aren’t making matters worse.

Most of the time marriages fall apart because one or both of the people start getting selfish and feel that the world revolves around them. The truth is that if that is your perspective, the marriage is doomed. The two of you are supposed to be as one and this can not be if you are only looking out for #1. You have to be able to sacrifice parts of yourself for the existence of the marriage. It takes the two of you realizing that if you want to be as one, you may have to sacrifice yourself. The choice is simple, live as one or live as two people.

Open Up:
There is a tendency that many people have to bottle things up when we are stressed. This isn’t healthy for any individual and it especially isn’t healthy for a marriage. When contents are under pressure for too long and that pressure grows, things are likely going to build up too much. When thing build up too much they may reach the  point that there is an explosion.

There may have been firecrackers going off when the two of you first kissed. It is nothing like the Nuclear Bomb that could go off when you have let things stay bottled up for two long in a marriage. The longer you wait to bring resolution or to communicate problems, the bigger the explosion will be. You need to open up a bit to take off the pressure and help save marriage.

Simplify:
We have a tendency to make things a lot more complicated than what they need to be. We make big issues out of little ones and mountains out of mole hills. Blowing things out of proportion is something that many who need help save marriage will do that makes things worse than they need to be.

Consider what it is that you really need to have in a mate. What is it you really need to exist. Try and simplify it as much as possible. Stop looking at all the details and try to find the root of the problems.

Are you making too many demands? Are you being too picky about how you think things should be? Are you expecting too much?

Take a step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplify and you just may be able to help save marriage.

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A marriage in crisis is difficult to handle as it seems that what was once full of life is now suffering and on the brink of dying. When you are dating, new love seems to have a life of it’s own. Everything being so new feels like a new life has begun has the two of you have started a “new life” together.

When you get married, it seems like everything just falls into place and everything makes sense. When times get tough, though, and and the marriage begins to struggle it can seem like the new life is starting to get old and may die out. If you aren’t ready for your life together to die, your marriage in crisis may need to get C.P.R.

Get Counseling:

One of the most underutilized and overlooked opportunities for a marriage in crisis is getting marriage counseling. Marriage counseling will go a long ways towards helping you not only find resolution to your conflicts but will help the two of you find ways to grow closer together. Marriage counseling will help you be better able to understand each other.

Marriage counseling will also help you find better ways to express yourself in such a way that you don’t come across as attacking each other. It could very well be, though, that one of you has some serious issues that is putting your love and relationship at risk. For those issues you may want to get therapy on your own. It may be hard to do because you will have to swallow your pride but if you are serious about saving the marriage in crisis, you will want and need to do this.

Get Perspective:

For a marriage in crisis, one of the most important thing that needs to be done is to get some perspective on what is happening. This is one area that a marriage counselor will be helpful because it  will help you to look at things and situations from other perspective.

From where you are standing things may look pretty clear. However, once you are able to see from another angle, things that you couldn’t understand before may make a lot of sense. Getting perspectives from other angles and vantage points will really be helpful in helping you fully understand what is happening so that you can then save the marriage in crisis.

Get Resolve:

Once you have been able to get some perspective on the crisis at hand and are getting counseling, you will have a lot of information and ideas to go off of. Those will help repair the damage that is done IF you are able to act on it. Knowing is half the battle but no battle half fought was ever won.

If you see a drowning person and you not only know how to swim but know CPR and are trained in first aid, you may know everything you need to know to help save that person’s life. Will that knowledge save them? Only if it is acted upon.

The same thing is true with your marriage. It just takes you acting upon it and getting resolved the issues that were killing your marriage. A marriage in crisis can only be saved if you act to make things better.