Lonely Hearts Dating Advice – Dating Help

Posts Tagged ‘Love Relationship’

For those needing relationship help try, The Magic of Making Up

So you’ve been on your own for a couple of weeks now and you wake up one morning with this burning thought in your mind “I want my ex back!”  Which is a pretty normal reaction if you find that you’re still in love with your ex.  What is also natural is that you will find you have no real idea how to go about getting them back.  So you end up looking around for help in order that you don’t make a complete mess in your attempt to win them back.

Well first of all, before you go off trying to get your ex back, make sure that you’re not going through the natural grieving process that comes at the end of a relationship.  At the end of most  relationships there is a period when the hurt and missing is so intense that it is akin to the grieving process.  During this process it is very natural to have the feeling “I want my ex back!”and for that feeling to be all consuming.

This is because you are grieving for all the dreams and hopes you had that were wrapped up in your ex love and your ex relationship.  So make real sure that you’re not going through this process before you attempt to get them back.

Assuming that it is more than natural grieving, you are now ready to make good on your thought that “I want my ex back!” your next move should always be to figure out what went wrong.  

This is important, because unless you take the time to go over the mistakes that you might have made, then getting back with your ex will only eventually lead to the same break down in the relationship as before and that will do neither of you any good.  So own your mistakes and anything that you might have done wrong to contribute to the break down of the relationship.

A vital tip to remember is not to focus on what you believe your ex might have done wrong.  Let them take care of their stuff for now and you take care of your own.  There is time in the future for the two of you to dig around in the collective causes, but for now, you must work on your own issues and mistakes.   

If you’re sincerely clear that “I want my ex back!” then all that has been outlined is really the start that you need to take to get back with your ex and to secure a future for the two of you that will not fall into the same mistakes and pitfalls of before.

For those needing relationship help try, The Magic of Making Up

With Relationship Rescue, Philip McGraw has done a great amount of work to try and help people put their lives back together after things have fallen apart. This is no different from anything else that he has done on television with his show that brings in people who are in the middle of family crisis. If there are problems that people are having, he will help them find a way to sole it themselves.

While it might be better to have Dr. Phil right there with you to help you figure things out, his book, Relationship rescue, provides the next best thing. While it is always recommended to go seek counseling, it may not always be feasible. What makes many efforts to save relationships fail is that there is no action taken. Dr. Phil insists that if your relationship is to be saved, then both parties must work to save it. Any marriage counseling or relationship advice that anyone will give you will let you know that work is involved.

Phil McGraw’s book gives people instructions that are very helpful but can be difficult because he challenges both parties in the love relationship to look inwardly and own up to their problems and work to fix them. He tells them that they need to work as hard to fix themselves as they expect their partner or spouse to work on theirs. Relationship Rescue says that even if you think that your significant other is the root of all the problems you must scrutinize yourself.

In Relationship Rescue, Dr. Phil asks readers to perform an self analysis regarding their feelings about the relationship. There are lists of questions that are categorized by topics like, "Relationship Health Profile," "Personal Concepts Profile," "The Relationship Behavior Profile: Your Partner," "The Relationship Behavior Profile: You." Just looking at those headings you know that it is going to require some serious work and thinking that will be well worth it once you see an improvement in not only your perceptions of the relationship, but in the relationship itself.

Dr. Phil’s Relationship Rescue also encourages people to change their perspective of the relationship form a negative one to a positive one. Most people make things out to be worse than they are. Changing one’s viewpoint of the other in the love relationship may help them see that the problems may be as bad as first thought.

Dr. Phil, as always, gives common sense relationship advice that requires some hard thinking and some hard work. There are millions of people who have taken his advice that he gives in this book and seen dramatic improvements in their lives. If you don’t have the patience or the time to read his Relationship Rescue book, there is an abridged audiobook available that makes the information easy to understand but also helps in that you get to listen to his sound advice in his own voice.

For those needing relationship help try, The Magic of Making Up

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”  When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me.  I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan.  In Junior High, that’s about four days.  As we get older, the lifespan increases.  But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry.  Most of us will only have one great love in our lives.  The other relationships will terminate.  That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship.  Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment.  As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places.  I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level.  I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly.  I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand.  Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me.  I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment.  I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in.  I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.  

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex.  But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate.  Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time.  I loved her.  I still love her.  But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong.  I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things.  Sure, I understood that I had hurt her.  But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were.  But, every relationship has to grow or die.  Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die.  In every relationship, there is a time to die.  And, for me, this was it.  That’s how I lost love.